The modern value of traditional family mottosJamaicans Escort: From the destruction of the family system to the reconstruction of family culture
Author: Yan Binggang
Source: “Quzi Academy” WeChat public account
Introduction
A family is a shrunken country, and a country is a shrunken home. In traditional Chinese society with the isomorphism of family and state, what is the relationship between outstanding family mottos and family traditions, family education, individual growth, social harmony, and state management? What are some excellent family mottos and family management wisdom worth inheriting in traditional civilization? What kind of difficulties has the family system encountered in modern society? How to cultivate excellent family tradition and tutoring and rebuild modern family culture? Emotional thinking and correct answers to these questions are of great significance to our family education, talent training, social management and national development tomorrow.
On August 17, 2019, the Shandong Provincial Government specially appointed Taishan Scholar, Vice President of the Advanced Institute of Confucianism of Shandong University, and Fu Shenggong Yan Zi (Yan Hui) 79th Professor Yan Binggang, the grandson of the generation, came to the forum of Quzi Academy and delivered a speech entitled “The Modernization of Traditional Family InstructionsJM EscortsValue: From the Destruction of the Family System to the Reconstruction of Family Culture” speech, and had an excellent interaction with the audience. The lecture was broadcast live globally by the Hunan channel of Phoenix.com, with a maximum of 415,000 online participants; Professor of Changsha University of Science and Technology and Executive Dean of Hunan Miluo Quzi CollegeJamaica Sugar DaddyWang Qi serves as guest host.
Thank you, Dean Wang, for your warm introduction, and thank you to all the children and parents present for braving the hot summer to come to Quzi Academy to listen to my speech. Qu Yuan is a great patriotic poet and an idol of the Chinese nation. I admire Qu Yuan very much, and it is the honor of my life to come to Quzi Academy to give a speech!
01, A century of changes in the family
Why should I talk about family tomorrow? Maybe I should talk about family civilization, because in contemporary society, there is something wrong with our family, our tutoring, and our family tradition. There are many problems in the relationships between family members. Therefore, many people no longer find happiness at home, but are afraid of this home, avoid this home, and do not want to own this home. I know a girl who has a background of studying abroad and has a very successful career. I asked her: “You are not young and have been married to your husband for many years. Why don’t you have a baby?ps://jamaica-sugar.com/”>Jamaicans EscortWhere is the child?” She said: “Teacher Yan, it’s not that I don’t want to have children, but I don’t dare to have children. Because I have given birth to children, no Learn how to teach your children,” she said on the minds of many.
A senior said: Do you want to drive on the road? Do you need to get a driver’s license? Do you want to be a doctor? You need to have a medical qualification certificate; to be a teacher, you need a teacher qualification certificate; to develop an excavator, to fly, etc., almost all industries require a qualification certificate. Getting married, having children, and becoming parents is such a big responsibility! But no one has passed the qualification examination and obtained the pass certificate and then became a father and then a mother. “The Great Learning” says: “There is no one who has not learned to raise children and then gets married.” This means that no one has learned how to give birth to children and how to raise children before getting married. The reason why predecessors did not do this is because their predecessors did not use it. In traditional society, a family has at most three generations living under the same roof, and a little more, there are four or even five generations living under the same roof, and some even have seven or more than ten generations living under the same roof. Some families have not separated themselves for hundreds of years. How to manage them? Therefore, traditional families have a set of effective governance methods, which are ancestral precepts, family rules, and family education. Everyone grows up in this set of ancestral precepts and family rules, which are passed down from one generation to the next. Simulate the previous generations. Most people have grandfathers, grandmothers, fathers and mothers. What about today’s families? Today’s families are like this: sons and daughter-in-law are not willing to live in the same house with their father-in-law and mother-in-law, and father-in-law and mother-in-law are not willing to live in the same house with their son and daughter-in-law. Today, most families are composed of parents and children. Constituting unit family or focal family. Traditional Chinese society is an agricultural society. Over thousands of years, it has only evolved slowly or cyclically year after year, generation after generation, without the most basic adjustment of the social structure.
In traditional society, there is a set of fixed rules for how to cultivate land. Similarly, there is no need to learn how to be a father, how to be a mother, how to be a grandfather, how to be a grandmother, how to be a son, how to be a daughter, how to be a daughter-in-law, how to be a mother-in-law, etc. The previous generation will teach the next generation. Life rules, behavioral habits, and etiquette rules are passed down from one generation to the next, and the next generation imitates the previous generation.
Today’s society is an industrial and commercial society. Unlike the resettlement of agricultural society, the biggest feature of industrial and commercial society is mobility. Because capital is mobile, it drives people to move. Everyone came from all over the world to Changsha, Shanghai, Shenzhen, and maybe Beijing, New York, Seoul, and Tokyo next year. In a fluid society, today I am here, and today you have moved to another place to work. The smaller the family, the easier it is to move around. However, it is very inconvenient for large families living together in traditional society to move around. The basis of traditional society is large families with four or five generations living under one roof, and there is no basis for mobility.
From the traditional big family to the focus family of tomorrowIn fact, he has gone through family revolutions again and again. Of course the family is against it. “Lan Shusheng used Jamaica Sugarswore to his daughter, his voice was choked and hoarse. The movement did not start with the May Fourth Movement. Before the May Fourth Movement, many intellectuals began to call the family reactionary, and finally. “Human Justice” is a classic work on the family revolution. In the great harmonious society he imagined, he advocated the elimination of the “family boundary” and the “physical boundary”. “Form Realm” means annulment of marriage Marriage system. There is a family, but there is no equality in life, because the family a person is born in determines his future. It makes a big difference whether he is born into an emperor’s family or a beggar’s family. Therefore, family is the source of many sufferings. It is the nature of disobedience Source. Because there is a family, there are rich and poor, high and low, so there is no equality in life. Only when the family is abolished and there is no public property can people be born equal.
How to withdrawJamaica Sugar Where is the family? Kang Youwei believes that the marriage system must be abolished first. Many of us know that if there is a marriage, there will be a family. A bookJamaica Sugar‘s book is called “Book of Changes” and its “Xugua Zhuan” says: There are Liuhe and then there are all things, there are all things and then there are men and women, there are men and women and then there are couples, there are couples and then there are fathers and sons, there are fathers and sons and then there are monarchs and ministers. , there are kings and ministers, then there are high and low, there are high and low, and then there are mistakes in etiquette. As long as there are Liuhe, there are yin and yang things, that is, men and women. Once a couple is established, they will become a family. When a family unites, it becomes a nation, and it becomes a Jamaicans Sugardaddy Country. “Going to the home world is a citizen of heaven.” The boundaries of the family are gone, the home no longer exists, and everyone is a descendant of heaven. The prerequisite for going to the home world is to go to the physical world. The physical world is the difference between men and women. In the invisible world, men and women are not equal, and men and women cannot be independent. To completely realize the equality between men and women, it is necessary to abolish the differences between men and women and abolish the marriage system at a certain age. Young men and women each other If they feel they are compatible, they will make a good relationship. The minimum cannot be less than three months, and the maximum cannot be more than one and a half years. After the child is born, he will be sent to a nursing home, then to a kindergarten, a primary school, or a kindergarten. High school, college, and then start Task, retired at the age of 60, and finally entered the final hospital
In modern times, especially during the May 4th Movement, many radicals believed that the family was the source of all evil and family tradition. The system is feudal absolutismfoundation, so to overthrow feudal autocracy, the family must be abolished. Wu Yu, an old hero in Sichuan who was called by Hu Shi “the old hero who punched holes in his shop with one hand”, wrote a famous article “The Family System as the Basis for Absolutism”. He believed that China’s autocratic monarchy has always used the family system. The system serves the purpose of ruling the world and teasing Guizhou and Li, but “the family system and autocratic politics are so entwined that they cannot be separated.” Why can we have such a close connection? “Confucianism regards the word filial piety as the root of the connection between autocratic politics and family systems for two thousand years, and it has always been clear and unshakable. The patriarchal society has restrained the military society and cannot fully develop. Its evil is no less than that of a scourge. ”
“Filial piety” is the core value that maintains the existence of traditional families. In the sense of integrating the family and the country, it has the meaning of transferring filial piety to loyalty. Filial piety is also the main value for maintaining the existence of the country. The concept of filial piety has been defeated. Of course, the traditional Chinese value of “being filial at home and being loyal to the country” no longer exists. China’s Han Dynasty had a system of “promoting filial piety and honesty”. At that time, if people wanted to be officials or participate in the governance of the country, they had to be a rebellious son at home. If you are not filial at home, how can you become a traitor? Tomorrow we still ask for integrity. To be honest means to be clean and honest, and to be honest is to act fairly and impartially. There is no purity, no fairness, only filial piety is not enough, so the ancients promoted filial piety and integrity.
Filial piety and loyalty are the two big pillars that maintain the unity of the traditional family and country. They are like a big house. The house is supported by two big pillars. If these two pillars are removed, the house will collapse. Of course, the traditional Chinese family system and national political system will no longer exist. Wu Yu is very unique in his understanding of the issue. The basis of the traditional Chinese family and state system lies in the Confucian filial piety ladder. There was a very outstanding figure in Hunan, Zeng Guofan. He believed that the home of filial friends, rather than the homes of officials and merchants, could best protect the longevity of the family. Filial piety is an intergenerational ethic in the family. Parents who do good deeds are called filial piety. As children and juniors, they can respect and support their parents. This is filial piety.
People often say that a father is kind and a son is filial, but as a parent, the love for their offspring is a biologically inherited nature. All animals understand that they must care for their offspring. I saw a video where an eagle bit a duckling to death, and the mother duck came up to fight with it. In the animal world, elephants will protect their calves, and even wolves know how to protect their cubs. Parents are very protective of their cubs. The kindness of future generations is, in a sense, a biologically inherited nature. What about parents who cannot protect their children? The Chinese say that such parents are worse than animals. If you are born without nourishment, you are worse than an animal. Filial piety is not an innate nature. Filial piety needs decoration and education. Menzi said that filial piety is a good person who can do without learning, and a confidant who knows without worrying. “Jamaicans SugardaddyJM EscortsThose who are capable without learning are good talents. He who knows without worrying is a close friend. “(“Yu Zi·Dedicate Your Heart”) For saints who can do without learning, filial piety can be done without learning and know without worrying. But for ordinary people, filial piety needs to be cultivated. Chinese ancients knew it clearly, ” “Education” is a combination of filial piety and civilization. Filial piety requires education, and only filial piety can distinguish a person from an animal.
When the little wolf grows up, does he know who the wolf father is, who the wolf mother is, who the wolf brother is, and who the wolf sister is? No. But when people grow up, they understand these things. The traditional saying is “Ming Ren Lun”. Lun is the relationship between people, and Ming Ren Lun is to understand the relationship between people.
A family needs to be passed down from generation to generation. This is the intergenerational inheritance. Among brothers, sisters, uncles and sisters-in-law, the elders who do good deeds are called brothers and sisters. Only in this way can this family live in harmony and develop long-term.
During the New Civilization Movement, Peking University founded a university. In the first issue of the magazine “New Wave”, Mr. Fu Sinian published an article “The Origin of All Evils”. He believed that “Chinese families” are the “biggest force that destroys individuality” and are the source of all evils. A joke: In traditional Chinese society, parents marry their sons not to find a wife for their son, but to find a daughter-in-law who is filial to themselvesJamaicans Sugardaddy In July of the same year, Li Dazhao published an article in the “Weekly Review” commenting on Fu Sinian’s “The Origin of All Evil”: ” In China’s current society, the root of all evil lies in the family system. “From Kang Youwei’s transition from the “family realm” to the “physical realm”, to Wu Yu’s view of the family system as the basis of an authoritarian system, and then to Fu Sinian’s family as the “source of all evil,” the family has been discredited by radicals. Chaos. From this we say that the problems that arise in families tomorrow will be caused by people’s families. The indifference of ideas does not originate in the contemporary era, but is the result of the long-term historical evolution in modern times. It has been more than a hundred years since the reform movement to the new civilization movement. Over the past hundred years, our family reaction and family destruction have been caused by such ideas. Cumulative results
In modern times, family problems are not only a problem in China, but also a problem in the world. There is a word in China called “gnawing at the elderly”. Nowadays, many Chinese parents say that it is okay to gnaw at the elderly. As long as you don’t cheat on your parents, some people say that young people are the best. The reason for cheating is because his parents failed in early education, and his father cheated him first, and then he became a cheat. There is a group in Japan called the “Cocoon Clan”. , of course it is not completely the same as the “gnawing old people” in China Jamaica Sugar Daddy AFP reported that Japan (Japan) authorities announced an investigation on March 29, 2019 that Japan (Japan) was 40 years old Among the above people, more than 600,000 were completely isolated from society and stayed at home for more than 6 months without any interaction with society. This phenomenon is very common in Japan. “Cocooners” are people who do not go to school or work for half a year, and do not interact with anyone outside their family. This survey estimates that among people aged 40 to 64 in Japan, there are currently 613,000 hikikomori, and nearly three-quarters of them are men. A Japan (Japan) Cabinet Office official in charge of the survey told reporters: “The survey results show that the number of people is higher than we thought. Cocooning is a problem that does not only occur among young people.” This cocooning phenomenon is by no means a problem for Japan (Japan) ) is unique to one country and can happen in China or anywhere in the world. CCTV News Network reported: On June 1, 2019, Hideaki Xiongzawa, who once served as Japan’s Deputy Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries, killed his biological son at home. He claimed that he was “removing harm for the people” and his son was a member of the “Cocoon Clan”. He killed his relatives righteously because he was worried that his son would be unfavorable to the surrounding primary school students. His 44-year-old son has been cocooned at home for a long time and has no job. Playing games online is his only hobby.
There is a riddle circulating in China. The riddle is: “I have always been unemployed, my two elders have eaten everything, I have three meals full, my limbs are weak, my facial features are regular, I don’t recognize six relatives, and I am willful. Happy in all directions, sitting still for a long time, very useless. “If you ask for a beating, the answer is “gnawing old people”. How many people in China are chewing on the elderly, some say 60%, some say this number is too high, but chewing on the elderly and cheating on their parents have become unavoidable family and social issues in this era. A talented student at Peking University named Wu Xieyu actually killed his mother, who was dependent on him for life. In November 2009, there was a murder case in Daxing, Beijing, and the perpetrator turned out to be the eldest son, Li Lei. He killed his wife, sister, father, mother and two young sons. This was a murder that shocked the country. What will happen to our family tomorrow? What went wrong inJamaica Sugar? What should we do? I think we need to look back at tradition and explore ways to solve tomorrow’s family problems from the traditional ways of keeping a family together. We should understand the situation and see if we can find some reference resources to help us resolve our doubts.
02, Absorb the essence of traditional family mottos and promote the construction of civilized families
There is a problem with the traditional Chinese big family. In modern times,Since then, many radical intellectuals have made revelations. We believe that the traditional family is compatible with the traditional Chinese society based on agriculture. Its biggest problem is that it does not meet the requirements of industrial and commercial social capital. Therefore, moving towards the core family or unit family is an inevitable trend in the development of modern society. Although the traditional family-style big family has disintegrated, this does not mean that the core concepts in the traditional family are no longer meaningful. Today, all Chinese people, all civilized Chinese people, understand that they are grateful to their parents, value family ties, benevolence, justice, loyalty, and filial piety are what they adhere to.
Traditional Chinese scholar-officials take self-cultivation, family order, country governance, and world peace as their own responsibilities. In reality, body, family, country, and world are the important research objects of traditional scholar-officials, and the whole family is an important link. What does Qijia mean? Organizing the family means managing the family. Our traditional family motto is a summary of family management experience. In today’s terms, it is home economics, and in traditional concepts, it is the way to manage the family.
The concentrated expression of the way of managing a family is family precepts, which are various books of commandments, training books, family rules, legacy instructions, family precepts, court edicts, clan rules, family rituals, etc. general name. Family mottos include both oral admonitions and written expressions. Oral expressions include random reminders and sincere warnings; written expressions include the author’s targeted teachings and warnings for future generations or younger generations on a certain matter or behavior, such as “Ma Yuan’s Letter to Nephew” and Zhuge Liang’s “Admonitions”. nephew “Book” and so on, there are also systematic theoretical expositions, such as “Yan Family Instructions”, “Wen Gongping Fan”, “Yuan Family Instructions”, “Family Cluster”, “Internal Instructions”, “Medicinal Words”, “Housekeeping Collection”, “Xiaotang Family Instructions”, ” “Shuangjietang Yongxun”, “Negative Noisy Talk” and so on. Generally speaking, family motto is the oral or written advice, admonition, exhortation, and entrustment given by ancestors and fathers to their descendants; in essence, family motto is the life experience, life wisdom, and existence rules passed down to future generations by ancestors and fathers. , is the spiritual and cultural heritage of the family.
As small as a family or a family, as large as a nation or a country, it rises and falls, succeeds and fails, and only by summarizing the experience of its rise and fall. Only by learning lessons can we avoid making the same mistakes again. In many families, especially civilized families, scholar-bureaucrats actively wrote family mottos in order to establish a good image in society through the moral education, etiquette, and good behavioral habits of family members. Maintain an advantageous position in social competition and achieve the goal of prosperous people and families. Huang Tingjian, a writer and calligrapher in the Northern Song Dynasty, was also a famous rebellious son. According to historical records, although he held a high position, he served his mother with utmost filial piety. Every morning, he personally washed her mother’s drowning utensils. He wrote a “Family Precepts” which has been passed down to this day. Why write “Family Precepts”? The reason is that he witnessed “Runwu Fengjun, with the surname Haoyou, a well-dressed family, and a house full of gold and pearls. 80% of his mother’s serious illness. Who has the right to look down on him as a businessman? In a few years, he has seen a lot of things.” The abandoned fields are not cultivated, and the idle land is not given. After a few more years, I see him again, and he is in jail in the public court, and there is a burden.And those who are tired of traveling”. Why do some officials and wealthy families decline so quickly? Because “JM EscortsFamily disparity leads to this.” He wrote “Family Precepts” to use the lessons of other families as “a lesson for our family” to achieve the goal of “prosperous descendants and endless beauty for generations to come.” Huang Tingjian’s wish is exactly the wish of all scholar-officials in the country Fantasy. How can a family be prosperous for a long time?
How can one know that a family will be prosperous? Anhui’s “Genealogy of the Li Family in Hefei”) Good deeds will bring auspiciousness, while bad deeds will bring disaster. People in ancient times have tried many times, and I don’t need to try again. (Yao Shunmu’s “Yaoyan”) Later generations believe that there is a pattern behind the rise and fall of a family: How to understand the prosperity of this family? The family has a strict father. A strict father is a dignified and dignified father. Later generations believe that the father’s position in the family is like the king’s position in the country, and future generations call their father Yanjun and Yanfu. This father does not know how to smile playfully with his children, how to drink, play games, or be a football cheerleader. In the eyes of his children, the father is “respectable but not lovable.” How do you know? “How?” Lan Yuhua asked expectantly. The family is about to die? There is a proud man in the court. A son was born in the family who was arrogant, unreasonable, unruly, and uncultivated. If the children know how to be king at home and still obey when they go out into the society, then this family Jamaicans Escort will rise. A family must be passed down from generation to generation. If future generations have no rules and fail to live up to expectations, the family will have no future and how can it be prosperous? The reason why offspring are unruly and unsatisfactory lies in their parents. As the saying goes, “It is the fault of the father if the son does not teach.”
A good family is a family that is kind to others. This family often performs meritorious deeds, does charity, and does things that benefit the public, which will bring good fortune to the family. “The Book of Changes” says, “A house that accumulates good deeds will surely be blessed; a house that accumulates bad deeds will have lingering disasters.” If a family often does good deeds, considers others, and does not bully others, the family will be happy; if the family does not do good deeds, there will be disaster. “Yuanshi Shifan” tells a story: There is a family of officials who often bully their neighbors because of their power. The neighbors are most afraid of litigating with him, because once the lawsuit is initiated, the neighbors will lose. One day, his home was attacked by robbers. The robbers chopped him and set his home on fire before leaving. Neighbors warned: Never put out a fire. If you don’t put out a fire, you’ll get a hundred Jamaicans Escort sticks; if you put out a fire, he will be beaten. Things at home are lost.The lawsuit against his family will last forever. The neighbors refused to save him, and his home was burned to the ground. This is “a house that accumulates bad deeds will inevitably suffer disaster”.
One year, I was invited by Professor Liao Xiaoyi to give lectures in Bancang Township, Changsha County. The lecture location was not far from Yang Kaihui’s former residence. After the lecture, I visited Yang Kaihui’s former residence. The Yang family has a memorial tablet with a couplet written on both sides: “Loyalty lasts for a long time, and poems and books last for a long time.” These two ten days of words can be said to be the common family motto for all Chinese people. Loyalty is based on the character of family members. Only a family with loyalty and kindness can be passed down for a long time; poetry and books are based on civilization. Only with civilization can the family have hope.
Ordinary people plan for their children and grandchildren, and they all want to build a foundation, but no one cares about it? To sacrifice one’s heart and soul for one’s position, to sacrifice one’s virtue for one’s property is to lose one’s roots. If one is only interested in profit, it will be a detriment to Yinlu. If you want your descendants to enjoy it forever, is it possible? (Chapter 25 of YaoJamaica Sugar Daddy Shun Mu’s “Medicine Words”) This is a very good saying! This means that all parents and even elders plan and consider their children and grandchildren, and many of them even live for their children. Accumulate for your children and grandchildren, create a foundation for your children and grandchildren, so that your sons will not have worries in this life, so that your grandchildren will not have worries in the next life, and let your children and grandchildren stay rich. Like Qin Shihuang, he was the first emperor, his son was the second emperor of Qin, his grandson was the third generation, and his great-grandson was the fourth generation and so on. The result? The Qin Empire only lasted for two generations and was in turmoil. What about the foundation he founded? Completely destroyed! Considering how wise Qin Shihuang was, why would he be like this? He stood up and said. result? Jia Yi, a great scholar in the early Han Dynasty, said in “On the Passage of Qin” that Qin Shihuang “had no benevolence and righteousness, but his offensive and defensive momentum was different.” When Qin Shihuang governed the country or his family, he was purely legalist, harsh and ungrateful, without benevolence, righteousness, moral character, and unkindness. As far as the family is concerned, he taught his descendants the techniques of Legalism. Once Qin Shihuang passed away, the descendants could eat when they were hungry on the road. And this, the concubine still wants to put in the same method. It’s in your luggage, but I’m afraid you might lose it accidentally, so it’s safer to leave it with you. ” So they killed each other. History records that more than 20 of his sons died at the hands of brothers. Qin Shihuang had no family education, no fatherly kindness, no son’s filial piety, let alone respect between brothers, friends and brothers. His family was not “equal” , people all over the country suffer . In Yao Shunmu’s view, the largest, longest and most basic foundation in the world is the business heart and the establishment of morality. The soul is the wealth, the best wealth, and the wealth that no one can take away. is all wealth The most basic foundation of wealth; moral character is the best asset and the foundation of all assets. “To sacrifice one’s heart for one’s status, and to sacrifice one’s virtue for one’s real estate” is to abandon one’s roots and pursue the last. What’s more, it’s not just seeking profit? How can the wealth and honor obtained by one’s own skill be “obtained by future generations forever”?
“Thousands of years of loess has changed its owners hundreds of times.” In traditional Chinese society, land is the source of production. Data is real estate,But the land lasts forever, and the owner is always new. The land is like this, the buildings are like this, why shouldn’t the mountains and rivers be like this? Liu Bang overthrew the Qin government, destroyed Xiang Yu, and became emperor. His surname was Liu. He invited his father to Chang’an and asked, “Compared with the two elder brothers, who has a bigger family fortune?” During the Three Kingdoms period, the country was still there, but the surname was no longer Liu. As the saying goes, “The Great Wall is still there today, but Qin Shihuang is nowhere to be seen.”
Kindness is more basic than status, and morality is more important than real estate. A family should put the first priority on how to purchase the family’s moral assetsJamaicans Sugardaddy, and must take care of their children’s hearts and themselves. The mind comes first. The Confucius family in Shandong, known as the first family in the country, is a hereditary descendant of Shenggong. It is known as “the family of a saint with good moral character and a long history with the country”. Confucius did not leave much real estate or land behind during his lifetime, but he was a man of business, acquired a wide range of virtuous properties, and had a lasting legacy, which was passed down to his descendants and benefited 79 generations. Over the past two thousand years, many dignitaries and wealthy businessmen have been wiped out. However, Confucius has been passed down to common people for more than seventy generations. For more than two thousand years, people all over the world will remember him. In another two thousand years, people all over the world will remember him. Will still remember him, this is the strength of moral character.
03, Basic characteristics of domestic civilizationJamaica Sugar
Managing with a heart means being sincere; buying more virtues means Accumulate good deeds and become virtuous. Business HeartJamaicans SugardaddyIntestinal means to have good thoughts in mind, to avoid distracting thoughts, and not to have bad thoughts. Once there are bad thoughts, defeat them immediately, and never to trap, harm or harm others. Helping others, benefiting others, and tolerating others; spreading virtues means accumulating virtue and good nature, doing more good deeds for others, thinking more about others, having great love in your heart, and being committed to public welfare.
Accumulating good deeds can change your temperament, making people feel relaxed and healthy, and be sincere in appearance. A kind person will always consider others; an uneducated person will always care about others. A person who always thinks about others, has a kindhearted heart, is graceful and magnanimous, and looks kind-hearted over time; a person who always cares about others, has a narrow-mindedness, and behaves in a tight manner, and looks bitter over time. To manage your heart, start with yourself. Zhang Luxiang said:
No matter how big or small people are, they always look at this person. This body is upright, poverty and lowliness also become a person’s family, wealth and honor also become a person’s family, even if it cannot be prosperous, it can still stand. If this person is not upright, if he is poor and humble, he will not be able to make a family, and if he is rich and noble, he will not be able to make a family. No matter how contrary to the rules and principles, disaster will come, even if he is lucky, he will not be defeated.It’s so ugly and shameful. Therefore, self-cultivation is urgent, and teaching children and grandchildren is the most important. However, there is no one who cannot cultivate himself and can teach his descendants. When encountering the difference between being poor and reaching someone, the body is just this body. If you are poor, you should love yourself, and if you are rich, you should love yourself. When you are poor, you should love your body like a man’s house, so that you will not defile your behavior; when you are rich, you should love your body like a jade stone, so that you will not lose its treasure. (Zhang Luxiang’s “Selected Works of Mr. Yang Yuan: Instructions for Children”) The Qi family is concerned about self-cultivation and education of children. This is the Zhang family motto. No matter how big or small a family is, whether it is poor or rich, noble or humble, whether it is a family of three, a family of eight, a family of ten, or a family of two, it all depends on the character of the family. The target person is the parents, the parents. If parents behave well and speak reasonably, they can become good role models for their children. Poverty and poverty can become a family, and wealth can also become a family. Otherwise, speaking unreasonably and behaving irregularly will set a bad example for your child. All my parents thought about was the wrong way, “Get rich, get rich, get rich; be an official, be an official, be a high official.” They never wanted to be a good person, a good person, or a good person. This is not upright. Poverty and lowliness will not lead to a good family, and wealth will not lead to a good family. Colleagues here, everyone has read “A Dream of Red Mansions”. Ningguo Mansion and Rongguo Mansion are so beautiful, so prominent, and infinitely beautiful, but they eventually lead to destruction. “The vast white land is so clean!” Why? Under the residence of the two nobles, there are all kinds of people who don’t know how to cultivate themselves, especially Jia She, Jia Zheng, Mrs. Wang, Mrs. Xing, Jia Zhen, etc. When the entire Grand View Garden has only two stone lions that are clean, and when “all kinds of ugliness and shame are unspeakable”, can such a family survive without disaster? Can the trees not fall down and scatter the sun, and eat all the birds and throw them into the forest? If you don’t cultivate yourself, you will not be able to be a good person if you are poor or humble, and you will not be able to be a good person if you are rich or noble. With money and power, a good person has the capital to accumulate virtue and good nature; a bad person has the qualifications to do bad things. Although some people are bad, they have neither power nor money, so they cannot do bad things even if they want to. The Qi family is anxious about self-cultivation, and this is the meaning.
The Qi family “takes self-cultivation as the most important priority, and educating children and grandchildren as the most important thing.” However, there is no one who cannot cultivate himself and can teach his descendants. “I always feel that being a father or a mother is not difficult, but it is a very heavy responsibility. Parents are a kind of responsibility. When people call you dad or mom, this responsibility becomes heavier. Parents are also a role model. , being a father and a mother, doing it for the children all the time, the children Always pay attention to all the words and deeds of parents. Parents are the objects for children to imitate. When you are a father, you should be a good father, when you are a son, you should be a good son, and when you are a grandson, you should be a good grandson. This is self-cultivation. Only then can Lan Yuhua look at the two people lying on the ground. Without saying a word, Caixiu and the other two people’s hearts have sunk to the bottom, and their minds are full of thoughts of death.
How to cultivate one’s self? “. A former Confucian scholar said: “The ladder of filial piety is the ladder of loyalty, trustworthiness, propriety, justice, integrity and shame.” These eight characters are eight pillars. Only eight pillars can make a universe, and only eight characters can make a human being. The sage said that the ladder of filial piety is the foundation of a person. If you are not filial and don’t have the ladder, you will not be a grown-up. How can you lose your respect for yourself and become disdainful of human beings? (Yao Shunmu)”Yaoyan”) After the body has been cultivated, it is then promoted to regulate the family. The family can be harmonized, but it is not better than serving the country and the whole world. There is no such thing. Therefore, as a family member, a gentleman Jamaicans Sugardaddy will do his best to govern the country. Enke suddenly? (Fang Xiaoru’s “Family Cluster”)
Filial piety, loyalty, trustworthiness, etiquette, justice, integrity and shame are called the eight virtues by the ancients. If a person is a house, the eight virtues are the eight big pillars that support the house. Without these eight pillars, the house will collapse. Therefore, these eight virtues are the foundation of self-cultivation and the foundation of being a human being. Filial piety and ladder are two concepts that Chinese tradition pays special attention to. Children know love, and older people know respect. In Menzi’s view, these are the nature of progress. How can we lose the original? If one is not filial and has no ladder, he will not be a human being and will not look down upon thousands of human beings. If you forget the filial piety ladder, in today’s terms, you have lost your original intention. If you lose your original intention, you will be indifferent to thousands of human beings. People are not JM EscortsJM EscortsPeople. Filial piety is the most basic symbol that distinguishes humans from animals.
In Fang Xiaoru’s view, it is difficult to govern a country, but it is even more difficult to organize a family than to govern a country. A person can manage a business well and make it big, but he may not be able to manage his family well or manage himself well. One person can govern a sunny day and a country well, but he may not be able to manage a good family. Because home is a more complex system than country. In general, when managing enterprises and managing the country, everything should be done in accordance with rules and regulations, the country should be governed by the law, and the enterprises should be governed by the law. But the Qi family cannot do this, because the law targets matters, not feelings, so there is no mercy under the law. Between family members, especially between father and son, husband and wife, etc., it is more about feelings than things, not reason. It is impossible for a family not to have rituals and procedures, but it is also impossible to have everything according to etiquette and procedures. Managing a family requires a lot of thinking. Because in modern China, the family and the state are of the same structure, the family is a shrunken state, and the state is an enlarged home. If the family is cured, the country can be governed and the world will be peaceful. During the Southern Song Dynasty, there was a great scholar named Lu Jiuyuan. There were seven generations in his family, and every male took turns in charge of the warehouse when they reached a certain age. He said that he had made great progress in his studies after three years in charge. Where to enter? Advance in practical operation, which laid the foundation for his future career in politics.
I often say: Family tradition is set by one generation for the next generation, and the descendants set an example for the descendants. This thought comes from “Yan’s Family Instructions”:
Husband’s customs are those that are applied from above to those below. Therefore, if the father is unkind, the son will be unfilial; if the elder brother is not a friend, the younger brother will be disrespectful; if the husband is unjust, the wife will be disobedient. If the father is kind but the son is rebellious, if the brother is a friend but the younger brother is proud, if the husband is righteous but the wife is grave, then the evil of heaven and the people will be captured by punishment and not by training. (“Yan’s Family Instructions: Managing the Family”) Of course, morals refers to social customs and education, and closely related to the theme of family civilization is family tradition and family tradition. “Yan’s Family Instructions” believes that family tradition is self-Jamaica Sugar Daddy: From top to bottom, parents are the role models for their children, elder brothers are the role models for their younger brothers, and husbands are the role models for their wives. Parents set an example for their children, and husbands set an example for their wives. , the elder brother sets an example for the younger brother. If the father is unkind, the son will be unfilial, and if the elder brother is not friendly, the younger brother will be disrespectful. One generation, one generation teaches the next generation, but the next generation sets an example for the next generation. Being a parent is a responsibility. “It is the fault of the parents if they fail to educate their children.” . So how do parents teach? The wise ones are born without teaching, and even if they are taught by fools, it will be useless. In ancient times, the sage kings had a method for prenatal education: the third month of pregnancy. When you leave the palace, your eyes should not look wrongly, your ears should not listen wrongly, and your sounds and tastes should be treated with etiquette… The teacher should maintain the filial piety, benevolence, etiquette and righteousness, and teach them how to do it even if it is beyond your reach. If you know people’s colors and emotions, you can teach them, and if you do something, you can stop it. If your parents are majestic and kind, your descendants will be cautious and filial. But if you have love, you can’t do it. If you eat, drink, and do whatever you want, you should be warned and rewarded. When you respond, you should laugh. When you have the knowledge and knowledge, you can only copy it if you are arrogant and arrogant. Without power, anger will increase and resentment will grow, which will eventually lead to bad virtue. Confucius said, “Several achievements are like nature, and habits are like nature.” As the saying goes: “When a woman comes to teach, she teaches the child.” “What a true saying! (“Yan’s Family Instructions: Raising Children”) Most family mottos all start with educating children. Family mottos are essentially designed to educate future generations. The twenty chapters of “Yan’s Family Instructions” are essentially a summary of “Yan’s Family Instructions.” “Teaching Children” is the first priority. A person with superior intelligence is a person who is gifted and can be taught without teaching; a person with inferior intelligence is a person who is clumsy, has a low IQ or is mentally retarded, and can only be taught if he or she is a gifted person. There are very few people. The vast majority of people among them are mediocre people, that is, ordinary people.
What is tutoring? Tutoring is the process in which parents or elders guide a child to transform from a natural person to a social person. It is the beginning of a child’s socialization. When a child is born, it is only a natural state, and a natural person becomes a social person. , where to start to adapt to society? “Yan’s Family Instructions” tells us that the earlier the family education, the better. The ancient emperors had methods of prenatal education. It was impossible for ordinary families to practice prenatal education like the emperor’s family. Knowing people’s colors, emotions, and anger, they will teach them, do what they want, and stop what they want, thus forming good behavioral habits. By the time they are seven or eight years old, it is the so-called childhood rebellious period in psychology. , there is no need for corporal punishment. Traditional Chinese teaching attaches great importance to maternal education, because in a traditional society where men are the masters of outside affairs and women are the masters of domestic affairs, mothers have more opportunities to contact their children than fathers, and mothers teach their children more than fathers. There are four great virtuous mothers in China. Who has ever heard of the four great virtuous fathers? Mencius’s mother, Tao Kan’s mother, Ouyang Xiu’s mother, and Yue Fei’s mother are all role models for raising children. These mothers are all amazing.have to. But there is a greater mother, do you know who she is? She is the mother of Confucius, her name is Yan Zhengzai, and she is known as “Mother Yan” in history. She can be described as an authentic Virgin. “Yan Family Instructions” tells about a virtuous mother, Mrs. Wei, the mother of Wang Sengbian, the great Sima of the Liang Dynasty. Mrs. Wei was great and had very strict requirements for Wang Sengbian. Wang Sengbian was over forty and became a general leading three thousand men. If he did not do well, his mother still scolded and punished him. “Yan Family Instructions” says that Wang Sengbian’s ability to quell Hou Jing’s rebellion and achieve great success was inseparable from his mother’s teachings.
“To love without teaching is to be unworthy” “To know love but not to teach is to be unworthyJamaica Sugar Daddy“, this is the teaching of the sages. Many parents are very doting on their children. Some children can drink whatever they want and eat whenever they want. If they don’t eat during mealtime, their mothers still forgive them. “You can do whatever you want with your food and drink.” An ignorant child does not have any rules. If the parents do not have any control over the child, then the child is just a natural progresser without socialization. Human socialization is a symbol of human growth.
If children are not educated when they are young, parents will only think of educating them when their arrogance and neglect become a habit. In this way, they will only “beat and criticize until they die and become proud, the sun of wrath.” “It will only increase resentment” will never have good results. “A house that has accumulated good deeds will surely be happy; a house that has accumulated bad deeds will have remnants of disaster. A minister will kill his king, and a son will kill his father. It does not happen overnight. The origins of these events are gradual, so it is not possible to distinguish them early.” ( “Book of Changes Kun Gua. Vernacular”) Those descendants who saw their retribution today did not kill their parents overnight, but were the result of long-term accumulation.
Outstanding habits are developed since childhood and are the result of family education. It is the job of the school to teach incompleteness, and it is the job of every family. Teaching is not only the responsibility of the teacher, but also the obligation of every parent. Many of our children who “cheat their parents” are actually caused by their parents’ improper education. The “cheating” in their parents will lead to the “cheating” in the future. “A little success is like nature, and habits are like nature.” The behavioral habits developed by young people are as if they were born, and habits become natural. There is a saying in “Zengguang Xianwen”: “Raising children without education is like raising donkeys, raising girls without education is like raising pigs.” This sentence is not nice to say, it seems to be a curse, but the words are rough and rational. Let’s take a look at how good behavioral habits in modern families are developed:
Article 12: Every morning, if the bell rings twenty-four times, everyone in the family will be happy. Four times to rinse the salty poison, eight times to enter the Youxu Hall. The head of the family sits in the middle, the men and women sit separately, and the younger generation is asked to recite words of admonition for men and women. “Men’s Training” says: “The prosperity and decline of a family are all related to the accumulation of good and evil. What is accumulation of kindness? At home, one should be filial, and in dealing with people, one should be kind and tolerant. Anyone who helps others is the same; what is accumulationJamaica SugarEvil? Relying on one’s own strength to strengthen oneself, and subjugating others’ wealth to enrich oneself. This is why those who love their children leave behind good things, and those who don’t love their children leave behind evil ones. “Biography” said: “A house that accumulates good deeds will have Yuqing, and a house that accumulates bad deeds will have a happy life.” “The principles of heaven are clear, and everyone should reflect deeply.” (“Zheng Family Norms”) The Zheng family, based on the Confucian principles of “filial piety, loyalty and trustworthiness” and “propriety, justice and integrity”, has been passed down through the Song, Yuan and Ming dynasties. It lasted for more than 360 years, and at its peak, 3,000 people ate together. From this article, we can get a glimpse of the living conditions of modern large families: orderly, punctual and rule-abiding, encouraging people to do good every day, forming the common values of the family.
There is a law that governs the rise and fall of a family. This law is that a family accumulates good deeds and a family accumulates bad deeds. How to keep the family prosperous is to work hard, buy virtuous assets, accumulate good deeds, and teach children righteousness. What Confucians care about is not getting rich and getting promoted, but being a good person. How to be a good person? Self-cultivation is the foundation. My body is the foundation, wealth is the end, and official position is the end. Being a good person is the basis for getting rich, and being a good person is the basis for promotion. The predecessors often said: “Although our descendants are stupid, they cannot learn the classics without reading them.” The classics refer to the “Four Books and Five Classics” of Confucianism, not the “Diamond Sutra” or the “Principle of Virtue”. Confucian scriptures are the foundation of self-cultivation, the foundation of life, and the direction and compass of life. Knowledge gives people strength, and the key to arranging strength is direction. A person’s talent is a person’s strength. If used in the wrong direction, the greater the strength, the greater the destructiveness. Morality, love, conscience, etiquette, and procedures are the direction of our strength.
On February 17, 2015, General Secretary Xi pointed out at the Spring Festival group visit: “No matter how much the times have changed, no matter how much our lifestyle has changed, we must Paying attention to family construction, paying attention to family, paying attention to tutoring, and paying attention to family tradition…make thousands of families an important basis for national development, national progress, and social harmony. “The construction of family tradition starts with me, and tutoring starts with educating future generations.” Start. If parents don’t curse, their children will be embarrassed to curse when they grow up; if parents don’t curse, they can ask their children not to curse. The father talks dirty words and the mother talks dirty words. It is impossible to ask the child not to say dirty words. Good family traditions are passed down from generation to generation, and good family traditions are taught from generation to generation. The beautiful Chinese family tradition should be preserved forever. May every family be happy, harmonious, prosperous and healthy! I hope that every child in the country will be well-educated, respect their parents at home, respect their superiors when they go out to work, unite with Jamaica Sugar Daddy friends, and have a harmonious life. The concept of win-win will ultimately realize the great rejuvenation of the Chinese nation. This concludes tomorrow’s lecture. Thank you, Master!
(Wang Qi sorted it out and was finally approved by the guest speaker)
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